Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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