it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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