we're blogging at a bar
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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