we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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