3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
