it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
