I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
