Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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