well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize