Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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