Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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