why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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