Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
