My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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