Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
