When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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