i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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