she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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