i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
