I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
