Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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