Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
