The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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