I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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