just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
