Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
