I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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