Im at strip club and am horny
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We left an ass print on the piano.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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