Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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