i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
