apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
