I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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