Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
