They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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