It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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