My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's blow job season.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Randomize
