How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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