she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
