More tranny stories later!
are you so shy because you have an std?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
