My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
