dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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