he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
