just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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