talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
