By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
