when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
