Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
