wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
