week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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