This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize