Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
