Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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