He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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