But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
only if we run a train.
done.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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