You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
