Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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