he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
