Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
