Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I lost the right to judge tonight
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
