i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
