Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
