id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
