so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
In America we eat man semen.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
