she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
