Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
