You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This is my gift to your gina
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
