Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
