I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
