Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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