wrigley field is MILF paradise
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
