I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
