Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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