and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
