god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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