grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
