You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
