This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize