we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
